I don't think that's the problem. I tried it with a push button instead of a QAction menu item, and that one disables and grays out fine. Every other way of doing it has no problem, just with the QAction item.
Anyway, for the time being, I've replaced it with a button. It doesn't need to be in the menu for my application, but I'm still curious to figure out the problem.
The first line was actually just included in the code I pasted to show an example of something that did work. Lines 2-4 are the important ones. When I disable button_send later it disables fine.
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